It’s okay to break the law

 

melania-trump-statement-facebookjumbo

This topic of immigration is like a bomb of feelings on the internet.  The emotions are so high and explosive and raw, you start the topic and the rage starts flaring…and logic is tossed out the window.

Trump is seen as an evil man, a Hitler who will put immigrants in concentration camps and kill them off one by one.

To me this topic also hits close to home as when I was eight I immigrated to this country with my parents and my sister…LEGALLY.  I have watched conversations on Facebook, both on Fox and CNN on this topic and have seen sentiments differ among those who came here legally and those who came here illegally and they clash…for very good reason.  One side followed a painstaking, time consuming, pricey process to come here, sacrificing much, giving up much in order to do that and to follow the law, while others came through and even broke through the back door illegally, skipping each step.

I will address a few points of fear.  One fear is that there will be mass deportation of parents that have children that would remain behind and ‘How is that fair?’ they ask.  To me that question could also be asked by other people who break the law who get sent to jail and leave behind children.  When you break the law, there are excruciating, heartbreaking consequences that you failed to factor in or bother to think about because you were too busy breaking the law and profiting from breaking the law.  My father had a saying that I always found to be true:  What is hidden will always come to light.  Well that is what is happening now.

For years and years there were people who came from other countries who worked under the table for next to nothing and payed no taxes on that money and drove the rest of the market down for the rest of the business owners.  Let me just give you a few examples:  In my parent’s line of business (commercial and residential cleaning), they often went out to companies (mass companies) and gave bids on how much it would cost to clean their building and TIME AND TIME AGAIN they lost the bid to illegal immigrants who would do it next to nothing (and believe me my parents learned quick to bid as low as possible to still try to make a profit and they WOULD STILL LOOSE).  The only way that is possible is when someone doesn’t pay taxes on the bid they offer because they don’t have to factor in those costs.  The same goes for cabin cleaning or house cleaning, or farming or any line of business.  Immigrants that are here illegally would claim that no one else would do the jobs they do and THEY ARE RIGHT…not for NOTHING because they drove down the market in those fields, they set the standard so low that people are not willing to pay fair market price for labor.  This is just ONE of the reasons Trump won, because Americans (immigrated Americans and those born here alike) are TIRED of this manipulation.  No one has a problem with people wanting to come to the United States of America…but COME HERE LEGALLY and PAY YOUR TAXES.

Another point that has been cried about is the time it takes to come here legally…and here forgive me for sounding callous but I don’t have much pity.  I will tell you my family’s story and I can guarantee you that there are other’s like us that have had a harder story than ours.  We lived in Romania during the time of communism.  Before my parents were even married my father wanted to come to America and put in for a visa (that was 10 years before I was born).  There was one time my father tried to flee the country but I truly believe it was God putting His foot down and saying no when my father actually got caught and he spent nine months in jail in Romania (turned in by his best friend).  He was young and he learned the hard way that God will not have him going into any country the back way, he did not try again.  Not because he was a coward but because He believed if something was God’s will then GOD will open those doors…and He did…AFTER communism fell..after the danger and lack of food had passed (interesting to me).  Even after all this, when the visas were approved for our family we had to pass through Rome and we had to go through a vetting process, we were without much money, we had to stay in Rome for two weeks (now Rome is beautiful if you have money for sight seeing but we did not).  Anyway, we were in Rome, we were placed in a hotel, it was not a bad hotel, but it was not fancy.  We were not mistreated but we had to wait our turn until we could go to speak to the Ambassador and be vetted.  I do not remember much of this as I was only eight, just bits and pieces.  I remember spaghetti..it was very good, I remember the hotel room that we stayed in, for me it was impressive.  In any case, my point is there was vetting to be done and it was done and we did not make a fuss about it because it was the law and it was what was required to come here legally and it was done.  Once we came here after five years we naturalized and my parents took their citizenship test and we are Americans…that my dear people is how the process works.  It is long, for some it was longer.  For some it was harder.  But they did it legally.   And for those who did it legally and suffered WORSE to hear those who cry and whine that came here illegally is like a HUGE slap in the face.  It is like seeing a drug dealer make a ton of money while the rest of us wallow in debt, it is exactly like that.

So forgive me if I am callous when it comes to the immigration issue.  Because for me, I remember the Romanian revolution.  I remember both my parents going to join the revolutionaries.  I remember worrying about my school teacher who lived near the revolt.  I remember seeing a charred body of a communist officer in the street the next day…and that is where I came from…legally.  Please don’t tell me that it can’t be done legally.  Don’t tell me excuses as to why we should let people in our country un-vetted, because we were vetted (and were treated humanly and it IS possible) if there is a will to do it right.

Also I will say Melania Trump probably knows a thing or two about what I am talking about, so to those immigrants that are worried about their safety…I would say, instead of slut shaming her, appeal to her, because she came from a country like mine, she would understand poverty quite well, she rose from quite a bit to get to where she is (and yes perhaps in questionable ways, but she did).  But I’ve said it before, perhaps she can be an advocate…not your enemy, if you are only wise enough to make an ally of her and not just swallow all the junk the media sells you.

Advertisements

Girl on the Train

mv5bmji4mzu5mzy5mf5bml5banbnxkftztgwmta3mzqymdi-_v1_cr060640360_al_ux477_cr00477268_al_

The story of Rachel, Anna, Megan collides in this gripping psychological thriller that is told from each of the woman’s perspective.

When I started listening to this story on Audible I wasn’t quite certain what to think of it or where it would lead or if I liked any one of these ladies.  I will say the story is not beautiful.  It has cuss words and it is dark.  But there is much to be learned from it.  It goes with much of what I have been saying about manipulators and those of you who are in a relationship with such a man/woman I would recommend reading this if for nothing else but perhaps to open your eyes and perhaps to make you understand that the consequences can be tragic.

This of course is fiction but I found Rachel’s journey in particular very gripping.  She is a drunk when we meet her, she is at rock bottom.  She sees herself as ugly and useless, she takes a train back and fourth pretending to go to a job she no longer has.  Here the story begins because here she sees something and here she begins to have a new purpose…here a new resolve comes back to her…a determination is born, and here I begin to love her, because I relate to her struggle, even to her addiction.  Perhaps not to alcohol, but to her depression, to her darkness, to her desperation to be useful.

We find out along the way about Anna, the mistress that became the wife of Tom who was once Rachel’s husband, how they got married.  We get to hear Anna’s voice too, we hate her, we then question if we hate her.

We hear Megan’s voice who is very troubling because she has also gone through so much and of course she is the one the story revolves around, she is the mystery that must be solved.  Who is Megan?  Do we love or hate Megan?

But the moment that I love the most in the book is when Rachel realizes the lie, that one lie that she has been told about herself from the very beginning (spoiler coming), the lie that she was the problem in her marriage, that SHE was the one at fault for EVERYTHING, the lie she readily bought, and when she sees that lie being told to another person…that is the moment I love Rachel very much, because she is strong, she is not weak even though her heart is torn.  THIS is the center of it all, this is what a master manipulator does, and this book does a masterful job of showing us this, how a victim is made and how a victimizer does it all…but through it all a lesson can be learned…how to NOT be a victim, how to understand when someone tries to turn their faults on you, to open your eyes and SEE.  My review for this book is a five star despite the language because of the fact that I think it can bring awareness to this very hard topic.

 

Not more adult than God

 

1504487914-9a9a67b58246433ae33e8df73a64f849

Why do we fall into destructive behavior?  Why do we fall into traps and go for people that harm us?  Are we weak?  These questions are asked by those on the outside who perhaps have never known a day of sorrow, a day of loneliness, a day of yearning…a day of longing…and yet there are grains of truth in those questions that can’t quite be denied, they nag at me.  They are offensive, sure, but truth often scratches at us, doesn’t it?  We bristle uncomfortably at it, we draw back in fear from it.

In our darkest times, we are weaker, that’s the truth.  There is a danger to this as well, because a predator, a person with ill intent grasps at this and holds on and latches on and uses every weakness, every loneliness, every insecurity, every piece that hurts to draw us to them as your anchor…because when we are weak, trying to stay afloat in a storm we seek an anchor.

As a Christian we know the truth.  The Holy Spirit tells us that truth.  He tells us WHO that anchor is.  He tells us WHO that ROCK is.  He tells us who will never fail us.  He tells us who can carry that heavy burden, He tells us who can heal the broken heart…but we push Him away.  We push the true Lover of our hearts and souls away, because in all honesty we say HE IS NOT ENOUGH.  Lets be real.

But why is He not enough?

Jeremiah 17:5-10 says:

Thus says the LORD, “Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD.  For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.  Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD.  For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.  The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?  I the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give to each man according to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds.

A loaded verse.

In my experience, time and time again I have put my trust in people and time and time again I have come away broken.  Some people have intentionally, maliciously hurt me.  Some people have hurt me unintentionally, and yet have hurt me all the same.  Friends, family, a spouse…people.  People who were supposed to be there in times of need and loneliness and yet when needed were not there to carry heavy, heavy burdens…because THEY COULDN’T.  I expected them to care for my hurt like the LORD cares, to wipe my tears like the LORD does, but you see, they can’t see the deepest parts of me, nor can they fully care even though their words may convey such care.  ONLY ONE CAN TRULY DO THAT.  And yet again I let my HEART get ahead of me…this deceitful thing beating inside and I let this heart feel and I let the feelings dictate that trust should be placed on another person who is just as flawed as I am, who perhaps is just as hurting as I am.

Do you see?

Have you done this?

Well, let me tell you a predator preys on this.  And if you don’t have Jesus as your armor, you will fall.

In previous blogs I’ve talked about how to protect yourself from online predators, I’ve talked about human trafficking, about domestic abuse…and all of this in some way perhaps can be brought back to who you trust.  No, not all things can be avoided.  You can’t help if someone kidnaps you.  But being LURED away as an adult can be helped.  You CAN protect your heart if your heart is in the hands of Jesus.

He is not an imaginary friend.  He is not a fictional character.  He is the God who became man.  He is the one who came from Heaven and died on the Cross for all your sins, all your flaws, for that deceiving heart that constantly is selfish, that constantly fails, that constantly mocks you, that constantly tells you that you are not good enough.  He is the Son of God who is here to tell you that you are his Bride and you are made SPOTLESS in Him and He has chosen you, and He DOES love you, AND THAT MATTERS!  In the end, if you do meet a man worthy of you, He must honor Him and in honoring Him HE WILL HONOR YOU, he will not defile you.  He will cherish you, he will point you to the Cross when you are weak because he will realize that a man is not strong enough to carry a burden by himself, he will take you back to your Groom.

Ephesians 6:10-12

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

 

The verse goes on to list (read on your own), the armor you are to put on: truth, righteousness, Gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the Spirit (which is the word of God).  This is the armor you must have in your daily life, whether it is in dating, work, church, family, etc.  You must have it on EVERY DAY, because you don’t go to war without armor and satan constantly attacks you, if you are unarmored, you will fall and then you will ask God why…well, you were not prepared.

We often think because we are adults we can make decisions and we know better than God…but lets not forget…we are not more adult than God, and He knows better what can protect us.  If He whispers, or shouts to your soul: NO!  Or stay away, this person is bad…LISTEN!  Stay under His protective wings and seek His heart above all else, He is your/my beloved and He loves us well.