REVELATION 3:16 (nasb)

16 So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

I honestly can’t say that I’m surprised.  This past week I have seen people who are ashamed of Christ who cowered behind political correctness and ‘tolerance’ (which by the way if you haven’t noticed…is NOT given back).  I have seen this mantra repeated over and over to the point of making me sick:  God is love.  (Period)  But as I mentioned in my previous post…He is so much more:  He is just, He takes vengeance, He is forgiving, He is merciful,  He is all knowing, He is holy and perfect without a single flaw.  None of those were mentioned by any of the lukewarm Christians.

I am not surprised or shocked at the way people who don’t claim to be Christian act (they at least have the excuse of not knowing God on a personal level), but CHRISTIANS who claim to know God and His word condoning the homosexual lifestyle is inexcusable….for heaven’s sake at least don’t claim to be Christian, no one is forcing you to bear that name.  Perhaps these people are timid and afraid to loose a friend if they express what the Bible says on this subject.  Perhaps they think God will compromise on what He said not to do.  Perhaps they think they are being loving.  But I ask you, if you truly believe in Christ and that the Bible says He is the only way, and that the Bible tells what is right and what is wrong…how in the world do you consider it being loving not to tell a person that because they don’t know Christ they are going to hell?  Don’t you want to see that friend in heaven?  Are you so selfish that you won’t put your fears aside and lovingly but boldly speak the truth about what the Bible says instead of sugaring things up?  That dear on is hate, not love…because for the sake of not offending someone you will not tell that person the truth that could have saved them…what if no one else will put that choice before them and tomorrow they die?  How will you be able to have a clear conscience that the person you called friend will eternally suffer because you couldn’t sit down and put before them the choice of forgiveness that is offered by Jesus Christ?  That person’s blood will be asked out of your hands…and you dear lukewarm Christian will be spit out of God’s mouth.

I wonder what would have happened if Jesus did not speak out, if He let fear stop Him from going to the cross.  You dear Christian know what would have happened…hell would await us all if our ransom for our sins (mistakes, lies, adultery, cheating, hate, stealing, gossiping, homosexuality, drunkenness, etc).

I wonder how you dear lukewarm Christian would feel when you stand before the Savior He will be just as ashamed of you as you are of Him and His word?

Luke 9:26 (NASB)

26 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

That dear lukewarm Christian is what will happen.

I am not saying to be hateful, but I am saying not to cower.  Standing for the truth is never, ever easy…and most of the time people hate the truth.  But the truth is always worth it because it is steady and unchanging.

Here is a quote that I love:

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.”

–Alexander Hamilton


Joshua 24:15(NASB)

15 If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

You can’t be both with this world that will one day perish and with God.  You really can’t have it both ways.  Either you will please one and anger another and visa versa.  Who would you rather anger?  The world which can judge your body?  Or  God who can judge your eternal soul.

To those who are not Christian and reading this, please understand that the above portion is not referring to you, it is strictly for those who claim to follow Jesus Christ.

For those who are not Christian and reading this blog I do have a message for you as well if you are willing to read on:

I don’t hate you.  If I don’t agree with your lifestyle does not mean that I hate you.  For example, you might be perfectly okay with sleeping around before marriage, whereas I am not, I believe in giving that kind of love to one person.  But if your lifestyle is like that I do not hate you.  The same if you are homosexual.  Please understand my conviction and that of my fellow Christians.  We believe in a loving, just, holy, perfect God who has the best intentions for all on this planet (therefore the laws He gives are given to protect our bodies from disease and our souls from hell).  If I as a Christian that something is not pleasing to God according to the Bible, I do not say it with malice or hate…sure, I DO get fired up…it is how I express myself when I am passionate and I firmly believe something (perhaps you are the same in that perspective), but I don’t say it with malice or hate…I say it with passionate love, with a passionate desire that you come to know Jesus Christ so that you can know how awesome He is and that you would have a heavenly attorney who will when accused by satan of your every mistake and sin, He would be able to erase your sin and pay the ransom for your soul and give you entrance into heaven…not the eternal, painful prison of hell.  If I hated you, I wouldn’t bother writing this and I wouldn’t risk my good standing in your eyes.  If I hated you, I would keep silent and let you go to hell…because silence is often easier than speaking.

John 3:16(NASB)

16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

John 8:9-11 (NASB)

When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said,“I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”

What you need to know about following Jesus is this:

–If you come to Him and accept Him into your heart and soul, and ask forgiveness for your sins (your wrongs), He WILL forgive your EVERY sin.

–He will begin to change you and through His word will teach you right from wrong.

–As with the woman caught in adultery (in the above verse mentioned) He plainly told her He does not condemn her…and yet He ALSO told her FROM NOW ON SIN NO MORE.  Meaning He was telling her to stop living a lifestyle that is not according to the word of God.  (Jesus had saved this woman from being stoned to death for her sin).  When you come to Him and ask forgiveness and you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, your RESCUER from satan, HE FORGIVES YOU, you get A BRAND NEW FRESH START IN THE EYES OF HEAVEN (consequences on earth may still remain, however you name is written permanently God’s book of Life)…when you come to Him and ask for forgiveness, like I say he gives it, but just as with the adulterous woman He tells you: FROM NOW ON SIN NO MORE.

–Even after putting your life in His protective hands, you WILL still make mistakes…being a follower of Christ does not mean you are perfect.  It means that when you make a mistake you can come to Him and ask forgiveness and He will help you start again.  (Please understand that there is no way you can take advantage of God…He knows your heart, if you are sincere or not)  Still, you are a new creation through Jesus and when that day of Judgement comes and satan (who DOES remember every mistake and sin) comes before the throne of God to tell Him why you should go to hell, Jesus Christ will stand in front of you and God will declare you pure and clean, because when Jesus stands as your advocate, He wins (He paid your ransom with His blood).

I pray that God will lead you to Him dear reader, I pray that if not on this earth…I shall see you there in heaven (and against contrary belief….God is not a boring God who made a boring heaven, there will be wonders untold that I look forward to discovering along with you!)

The Gay Debate

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In debating what the Bible says and does not say, the old law has been brought up. Jesus made a new covenant with us when He died on the cross. It is the covenant in which sins are forgiven (this does not give us permission to willfully sin because that would be mocking Christs sacrifice and if we do so then we haven’t really believe in the first place).

Jeremiah 31:31-34 ESV

“Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”

Luke 22:20 ESV

And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.

In this debate of what is wrong and what is right there have been things brought up that are said to be ‘outdated’ such as:
Your adornment must not be merely external– braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; (1 Peter 3:3) Notice that is says Your adornment must not be MERELY external, thus insinuating that yes, you may adorn yourself, but what is inside is what matters.
The Bible also talks about modesty…what is wrong with that? Of a woman having enough self respect not to treat herself as an object by dressing ‘sexy’.
There are other points brought up some from the Old testament (Old Covenant that existed before the new covenant of Jesus Christ)
In any case the point of what was brought stemmed from me saying that we can’t pick and choose what we like and apply only what we like from the Bible. My point still stands. I can’t pick and choose what I like from the Bible and toss the rest out. Will I ever err and do what the Bible says not to do? I’ve never ever claimed not to be a sinner in need of daily grace from my Savior whom I have accepted as the One to pay the ransom for my sins. I am a sinner. I do sin. I break the heart of Jesus everyday, and yet because I have come to the cross and brought my sins to him, he obliterates those sins and forgives them and gives me the strength to get up and try again. My point was about willful disobedience of Christ. For example if I am married, and I know that cheating on my spouse is wrong and I willfully go and cheat on him then I am mocking Christ. Will I be forgiven? If I come to Him with a sincere heart (not thinking I can fool Him) and sincerely want to change my ways, then yes, I am forgiven. In every case where Jesus speaks to a person who was living a life of sin, his words were: Your sins are forgiven, GO AND SIN NO MORE. Thus a change is expected.
That is very logical if you think about it. In the court of law, if I am brought before a judge for stealing, and lets say my defense lawyer is good and clears my name (though I have broken the law), the judge might give a similar warning: You’re free, no punishment for you, however don’t do it again.
Or do we think we can cheat God or fool Him? Do we think we can say in our hearts: I am really attracted to this person even though I’ve made a vow to another, I will give in to my fleshy desire because it will feel great for a moment and then I will come to God and ask forgiveness and He will forgive me. That is willful disobedience. I cannot fool the God who knows my heart, I am only fooling myself and I will still be judged because I have not truly believed–had I believed I wouldn’t spit in His face like that.
Divorce was also brought up.
Matthew 5:31-32 says this:
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.


And as statistics have it abuse usually follows unfaithfulness so it is pretty much an all in one exception. In the case of unfaithfulness according to the above verse, that group is permitted to remarry.

Regarding tattoos, again that was part of the Old Covenant before the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross. It is not mentioned in the New Testament other than the Mark of the Beast (the mark of the anti-Christ and so this does not refer to all tattoos it only refers to the specific mark that will be given by the Anti-Christ)

The other portion was referring to witchcraft and fortune telling. Yes the Bible speaks against it, Understand this supernatural power comes from one of two places: God or Satan. Witchcraft represents the power of satan and his falling angels. So when you think your fortune is being told, it is satan speaking lies to you drawing you further, trapping you into a snare, witchcraft comes with a price that satan will always come to collect. This is why God forbids it. Do you want to know the future? Do you want to taste of the supernatural? I would say go to God, He is the authentic one, satan only mimics and copies.

Regarding homosexuality:

Romans 1:24-27   24) Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them.   25) For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever, Amen.

26)  For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,  27) and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

So according to the Bible homosexuality is wrong.  I am not sure how a person can claim to be Christian and can call everything else wrong (abuse, lying, adultery, etc) but when it comes to this then they excuse it (I am referring to the Christians that spout how God is love and so because He is love He will overlook this one sin and make an exception for them….but why not an exception for the other sins?)  God excuses no sins without Christ.  Through Christ all sins are forgiven (no exception)…but again, remember the warning of Jesus:


Another argument is that God is love.  YESSSSSSSS HE IS!!!!!!!  But that is not all He is.  It’s like saying that my mother is love (and yes she is very loving), but that is not all she is.  If I do wrong (for example against my sister), in love she will forgive me, but she will tell me not to do it again for if I do there will be consequences.  Lets say I am a rebellious child (which I have been in my time) and I do something against my sister again on my assumption that my mother is loving (and forget all her other qualities to my disadvantage), my mother then proceeds to punish me (grounding, taking away of privileges, kicked out of the house, etc) and she would be just in doing so for she has already warned me and laid down the law of the house.  It is the same with God, only God sees all and thus is far more just than my mother.

By Christians it has been said: ‘Love the sinner, hate the sin.’  To which it has been said how can we love the sinner if the sin is who they are (homosexual etc.)  This can apply to all sins not just homosexuality.  Yes it is possible to love the sinner and hate the sin.  I can love you even if you are wrong about something (or I perceive you to be wrong about something).  A few examples:  I love my sister dearly but she may have something that she constantly does to hurt me (she does not…well on occasion…but I do the same), I reproach her for the wrong she does, but I still love her, I would still give my life for her no matter how wrong she might be.  The same goes for the question that was posed to me:  What if one of your children comes to you and says they are homosexual?  Will I stop loving them.  No!!!!!!  Because I do not hate the person who is homosexual.  I will raise my kids, I will teach them what the Bible says is right or wrong.  In the end the choice however will be theirs to make.  If the come to me with that revelation I will still love them deeply, and endlessly, however I will tell them, and they will know that I do not agree with that lifestyle.  I will not cut them out though.  It is a decision they will have to make as to who they will serve.  It is the same if one of them God-forbid was to kill someone (to me this is the ultimate sin and I think all would agree), will I hate them?  No.  I will not.  Will I turn them in to the police so that justice can be served.  It will break my heart to pieces, but I will.  And I will pray for them to change their ways and turn to God and seek forgiveness from both God and those they wronged.  So it is absolutely possible to hate the sin and love the sinner.  It is possible for me to have a homosexual friend and hate the sin yet still love him/her.

I will leave on this note:  I pray for this nation, and this world.  I pray that God opens our eyes and hearts.  I love you even if your lifestyle is in opposition to what the Bible says (and just because I believe this does not mean I am putting you down).  If I truly believe that Jesus is the only way, truth and life, if I truly believe that sin (all sin) condemns us to hell and that only Christ can erase that sin and change us, if I believe all this and don’t tell you, how loving will I be?  If I truly believe that our souls are eternal and that we will ether be forever in Heaven or forever in Hell and I do not tell you the way to heaven…how cruel and hateful would that be of me?  And hell people according to the Bible is not a place where you will party with the fun people, it is a place of complete isolation, incomprehensible pain, void of completely of all love…I don’t wish that on anyone (not even my ex no matter how much I hate what he has done to me and the kids).  I may say that in anger (again that is me being a sinner), if I really sit and think about it, I don’t want that for anyone.  I would rather see them changed by the new Covenant of Christ and see them in Heaven.

Be blessed one and all.

CHAPTER 2 ready for your enjoyment!!!

As promised, faithful fans of THE FIFTH, I present you with Chapter 2 (in this one, you come to know Emanuella).  I am eager as always to receive your thoughts on this story.  Happy reading!

THE FIFTH--Chapter 2: Emanuella

THE FIFTH–Chapter 2: Emanuella

Next installment of THE FIFTH: Chapter 1

Here we go again.  There will be times when I will be posting a new chapter every day on Wattpad for you to read, and to those who are eager and impatient, there will be days you will be delighted to find I might post TWICE.

Yes there will be times the frequency of my postings might slow down due to my kids who take top priority and work…but do not fret I will not leave you hanging for long!

Here then is today’s installment of THE FIFTH:

THE FIFTH--Chapter 1

THE FIFTH–Chapter 1

Newly determined to post a chapter on Wattpad a week

So…dearest of fans of my writing (fiction and blog alike)….I have determined to post a chapter a week at least of one of my stories on Wattpad (I will provide the link each time I post).

Today’s featured story is THE FIFTH (A Living Parable Series).  Here is a brief synopsis of the story:

She was my Snowflake. Unimpressive at first glance, but under a microscope she was unlike any other. She was a complex symphony fast paced; like Beethoven’s Fifth symphony. She didn’t stop for breath, she pursued love with relentless determination. Emanuella was my symphony which caused my heart to stop. She was my snowflake who’s beauty I didn’t see…until she was gone…melted away. But her life saved mine. This is her story. This is a story of my rejection of the symphony she offered, and the sacrifice she gave. Read dear sibling and take heed.

Here is the first installment (please leave your comments and critiques at the following website or in the comments below):

THE FIFTH -Prologue...In the End-

-Prologue…In the End-


Joshua Emanuel….Yahweh Is Salvation…God With Us


My oldest son Joshua Emanuel has taken a huge step he has given His life to Jesus and tomorrow June 7th, 2015 he is getting baptized.  I am so amazed at this you heart that is so full of love for Jesus…his many questions and quests for answers from a very young age.  He has such a kind, loving and generous heart and yet he understands very well how each mistake we make is atoned by the blood that Jesus Christ gave for him and for us on the cross.  From when he as born I saw the signature of God on his heart…even his name means Yahweh is Salvation (Joshua) God With Us (Emanuel)…

I pray that he follows Him with all his heart all his days, no matter what may come (as life on earth, this temporary place often breaks heartbreaks and trouble).  I Pray that he will be a light to those who are in deep darkness, those who are broken and lost.  I pray with all my heart that he will always find shelter in our Savior Jesus Christ, that when troubles surround, that when storms rage unrelenting, that he will know that peace beyond all human understanding.

When our children follow Christ, it is in many ways a wake-up moment, a rise from your slumber moment for us parents as we remember our first love for Jesus and we in many ways renew our vows to God…to follow Him and not be ashamed.

Joshua Emanuel, I love you sweetheart, may God always give you strength and boldness to speak the truth, but above all, may He overwhelm you with His love!

—Love for eternity, for infinity times infinity,


Tell them about Jesus and let HIM clean them


In church yesterday was discussed a topic that is very close and sometimes controversial for Christians: leading people to Christ.  In a world that is extremely liberal, where right is called wrong and wrong is called right, I had said, it is hard to speak about Christianity.  We have become less bold and seemingly more ashamed of what it is to be a Christian…we tend to go with anything goes.

The Pastor answered very beautifully to my concern, he said:  “You just tell them about Jesus and let Jesus clean them.”  In other words, as Christians we are quick to tell those who are not Christian about what is right or wrong according to the Bible, almost as if we expect to change them before they even know Christ.  This is simply not possible.

I came to Christ when I was 16 years old.  I grew up with my Christian parents who loved God and yet as a teenager I was very rebellious and I was headed down a road that would have been destructive had my parents not decided to move from Michigan.  We had lived in a neighborhood that was starting to go bad (more drugs, etc).  I had started surrounding myself with people who were into those things and naturally I started gravitating toward that life style.  No I didn’t do drugs but I started to smoke here and there and became very selfish and concerned with popularity (so much so that I didn’t care who I walked over).  I think my parents saw the beginning of my decline no mater how I tried to hide it from them.  Anyway, we moved to Arizona where we began going to a Romanian (since we are from Romania) church.  I wore very revealing clothes, short skirts etc.  One day a woman walked up to me and tugged on my skirt and said:  “What, did this shrink in the wash?”  I was very offended, she didn’t even know me.  She didn’t know my heart, mind or soul.  This might be the reaction other people who are not Christian have to us when we try to condemn them of immoral behavior and tell them something is wrong, evil, before we even know them.  We tend to think that a person has to change before they come to Christ in stead of letting Christ do that miraculous transformation.  Still, what happened that day was still a tool that made me think.  I felt guilty because I had good parents, I felt like my parents didn’t know me…nor did I want them to know me because they would be ashamed of me.  I felt stained by my past.  Then one Sunday, for reasons unknown to me, I actually LISTENED to the preaching and what my ears (and heart) heard completely shocked me–because until that day I never really understood what Jesus did for me, I never understood why in the world an innocent man had to be crucified for me (in fact it enraged me).  I’m sure that others had told me before, including my parents, but it didn’t click until that day.  The pastor said that when we come to Jesus and accept Him and His sacrifice, he COMPLETELY erases our past in His eyes, it is FORGIVEN, it DOESN’T EXIST in God’s eyes, we are made into a NEW CREATION, the OLD IS GONE AND THE NEW HAS COME.   That is the day I decided I wanted to follow Jesus…but let me make it clear: I DIDN’T CHANGE OVERNIGHT!  Jesus worked and molded my stubborn heart little at a time (He is still perfecting me and as the old saying goes: He is not finished with me yet).

I give you a part of my testimony because I want you to understand that it is not YOUR job to change a person.  Are you telling an adulterer about Christ?  Don’t worry about his/her sin, tell him/her about Christ, lead them to the cross and let that innocent perfect blood of Christ cover them and atone for their sin, let HIM begin the change in them…OR maybe we don’t trust Christ to do what He came into the world to do?  In the end, remember, you are a sinner too (I know I am, I struggle with many things that are wrong, like using words that are fowl, anger thoughts etc), remember God is still changing you too, do not interfere with God.

That being said, once a person does become Christian, we do need to walk beside our new family member and show them the way, but not with condemnation and holier than thou attitude, rather with love and patience and endurance and perseverance.

You Shall Not Covet!

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”–Exodus 20:17

The above verse sounds reasonable.  If we obey this commandment after all we receive many rewards, namely: contentment, friendship void of jealousy, peace.  However in the past few years I have found myself guilty of breaking the above command and as a result my heart became full of discontentment, bitterness…perhaps even hate.  So, when looking at God’s commandments I fully understand that He did not give them to us simply to impose silly rules, rather, He gave commandments (laws) such as the one above for our own good, for our own health and peace of mind and soul

As many of you know, I am a single mom (as are many of my friends, and some have it much tougher than me).  I found myself looking at posts on Facebook for example in which friends or acquaintances would post on how they are going or have gone on vacation for long periods of time at expensive and exotic places.  Or I would see friends post on how they went shopping and bought such and such, or went to this or that event.  Or, they enrolled their kids in such and such sport or activity.  Bitterness grew.  I couldn’t afford any of the above.  What hurt more is some of the friends new my situation and unreasonably I felt as if their posts were some passive aggressive way of insulting and putting salt on an already festering wound (I realize how silly this sounds, and I realize this was far from their intent).

As a single mom (and many of you single parents out there can totally relate to this) my biggest aim in life is to make my kid’s every dream come true, to teach them right from wrong, to show them how to be respectful and to create memories that are amazing and that they will never forget.   So…I coveted…i coveted to be a stay at home mom, I coveted to be able to go on vacations every year, I coveted to be able to give my daughter horse riding lessons and to enroll my sons in sports, I coveted to be able to go shopping for nice things for them and for me, I coveted to be in someone else’s situation….I judged those who had it better than me.

How many of you single parents can relate?  How many of you daydream and night-dream of an easier more worry free life?  And even those who are not single parents may find themselves feeling as I did.  Still, no matter how ‘right’ you might feel you are coveting is bad.  It doesn’t just destroy your relationship with friends and maybe even relatives, it destroys you.  It’s a subtle disease that creeps into your heart, it becomes embedded there and only God can heal that and give you (and me) contentment.  Once you covet what someone else has…it’s a long road back to peace and contentment because you have to change (repent of) the way you think and feel.  This is what Jesus Christ asks of us…not just because it’s a law, but because it will heal our souls (and even body).

Recently, God did give me, my kids, my mother and sister the gift of a vacation (we have not been on one in many years), we were able to save and go…and then along the way I ended up putting pictures of my lovely kids in full joy mode on Facebook…then I remembered how I felt when I saw others post such pictures and it really changed something in me….so I will say to you who feel hopeless, tired, burnt out, almost ready to fall:  Don’t give up.  Don’t look to the left or right or on Facebook and let yourself be discontent because eventually things do change, miracles do happen, and God sees your hurting and longing heart.  Look to Him because He is the one who provides for the fatherless (or motherless), he sees the deepest part of your heart and He is the one who will provide rest.  If you are angry that you do not have this or that, tell Him (He is not a fool that you can hide what you feel behind pretty or false words and he sees what is behind that anger–namely: pain.).  Cry to Him, I assure you, He WILL answer you, just you watch.


The Heir by Kiera Cass Book Review

the heir

From the beginning of this series I was enchanted by the story Kiera Cass has woven.  Loved this one…to see the daughter of America and how she was raised as a royal heir.   Princess Eadlyn is a compelling enchanting character.  We see her change throughout the book from a slightly spoiled princess to one who is faced with the reality of her people and she is willing to do anything to make her father proud and relieve some of the stress of running the country.  She has a reluctant Selection of her own…completely determined not to marry but to go through the motions for the sake of distracting the public from their displeasure with the monarchy.  I would have given this book 5 stars, however I think there is only one thing lacking in this and that is more action…but most likely we will see that in the next book…which I look forward to reading!

The world is dark and the heart grows faint

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.  From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. –Psalm 61:1-4 

For about seven years now I have gone into and out of depression (my heart grew faint).  I try not to write to much about this for a few reasons.  Among these reasons are not wanting to give satisfaction to those who have caused this pain that is taking so long to heal.  But enough.  I am not afraid of them getting satisfaction from my pain (because in reality if this is where they find satisfaction, it is they who lose, not I).

The past week has been especially hard as I have seen relatives turn their backs on my family.  This is especially painful when so much had been done for them when they were in their hour(s) of darkness.  Lies, and deceit seems to prevail in this world of ours.  The wicked prosper.  As you are reading this, perhaps you too are thinking of the ways you have seen the wicked go unpunished and in fact prosper.  You may see an ex move on and be happy when in the past they had done only evil and were unfaithful.  Maybe you have friends who have turned their backs on you…or worse family members.  Maybe as a child you were abused in every way possible.  Maybe…maybe a lot of storms have passed and continue to pass over you.  Maybe telling you that you are not alone will not make it better at all….

Maybe a loved one has passed away and you have regrets…things unsaid or things not done.  You are told that time heals all wounds…but time has nothing to do with it.  A million years can pass and still the wound is fresh (perhaps at times numbed, but still fresh).

Let me tell you something.  Time will not heal anything.  Time has no power to heal…the wound only gets numb.  Yet there is One who heals–one who hears, one who keeps a record of your tears.

Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll–are they not in your record?— Psalm 56:8

He, your Maker keeps a record of your tears and mine.  He keeps record of the wrongs done against you and me…and there will come a day of reckoning.

If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him.  But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.–Psalm 55:12-14

That is the hardest pain of all, when the one you loved comes against you to tare you down, to destroy you.  Sometimes it is done with silence, sometimes it is done with fists, sometimes it is done with words, sometimes with cheating, but in the end destruction of your spirit is the goal.

Yet, the Lover of your soul is not blind to this.  I say it again, a day of reckoning will come…maybe on earth, maybe not, but for sure on the day of judgement.  In the meantime, how to you rise out of the dark?  How do you continue in the hardest of days?  There is only one way that has worked for me, and honestly it is the only way (though we rebel against this way, because it deals with what we do not see and our flesh wants something that can be seen, touched, heard, smelled)…but just because something or SOMEONE is not seen, does not mean He does not exist.  A good example of this would be are things that are microscopic, bacteria, viruses, etc…you can’t see them…but we would be fools to ignore them.

But I call to God and the LORD saves me.  Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice.  He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.  God who is enthroned forever, will hear them and afflict them.–Psalm 55:16-19

He hears and he will save you and me.  But we have to ask for help, He will not force Himself upon us.  We have to choose to love Him, He will not force us to do so…but once we make that choice, He is our fiercest defender, the greatest lover of our hearts and soul.

Please understand (as I am beginning to), we have an enemy.  The enemy is not your ex husband or wife, it is not your best friend that has hurt you or relatives that have torn you down when all you asked for is compassion and help in your darkest time.  No your enemy are not any of them.  The enemy that hates you beyond any hate you and I have ever known is Lucifer, now known as the devil, or satan.  He will do anything, use anyone to tare you down.  He will never stop while you and I breathe, but there is hope.  There is one who is much stronger than him…and He will always come to save us.  His name is Jesus Christ.  He is the King of all kings.  He is your Father.  He simply is (I AM).  But if we don’t seek his comfort and help, we loose out.

So, when the world is dark and the heart grows faint, when you fall deeper, come to Him you who are burdened and tired and He will give you rest.  These are not just words…test it out.  I know I will.  I have determined to do my best to draw closer to the ONLY one who loves me with an unblemished love.  I will seek Him in the night as I try to find rest…I will seek Him in the morning as I awaken (and I am not a morning person, so the me who seeks Him in the morning might be a bit grouchy…but He understands).

I hope you will determine to do the same…and very soon I hope to hear of the healing of your heart and soul (as I will also post more about this journey of my life).